At the end of the well-known reading from 1 Corinthians 13, telling us what love is, Paul finishes with the words: “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” Faith, hope and love. And while love is undoubtedly the greatest of that trio, faith and hope are an important part of our Christian faith, and a big part of my Christian faith.
I think I could probably drift along fairly happily without my faith in the good times of life and to be completely honest, that it is often when God gets pushed to the corners of my life. It is in the challenging times when I realise how much I need God. Our faith has helped us through many challenges and especially so from the day we found out that our eldest daughter had a complex heart condition. We were told that she wouldn’t be suitable for surgery, that she wouldn’t survive long after birth and we put our trust in God for the journey ahead. It felt that we were given a miracle when we were offered the chance for her to have pioneering surgery while still in the womb; surgery that helped give us six and a half wonderful years with her. The words from the hymn ‘Great is thy faithfulness’ sum up that time well – ‘strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow; blessings all mine with ten thousand besides.’
God also gave us strength in our grief after our daughter died, although there were many days when God felt very far away and days when prayers became agonised, angry shouts and there are still days like that, to be honest.
But being a Christian gives me that knowledge that I am not alone in the dark and difficult times, that ability to seek God in prayer and reach out for the comfort and strength that he offers, that hope there is something so much better beyond this life, the horrors in the news and my own personal struggles. It gives me hope that one day I will be reunited with my beautiful daughter.
In the challenging times, when I don’t know what else to do, I turn to God. And the words of this hymn for me sum up those times when we just offer up our doubts, our fears, our grief, our pain and our dreams and lay them all before God, trusting that he will help us and give us strength for whatever lies ahead.
God of my faith, I offer you my doubt,
for life at times seems far too dark for me,
and my belief becomes more insecure,
when worldly cares produce uncertainty.
God of my hope, I offer you my fear,
when I am scared by my anxiety,
when all I hear is suffering and woe,
in all my shadows, you will walk with me.
God of my joy, I offer you my grief,
when I sink down in sadness or despair,
when in depression I cannot be touched,
I pray in all my depths to find you there.
God of my love, I offer you my pain,
when I’m alone and feel nobody cares,
in aching age or in rejected youth,
you bear my cross and dry my human tears.
God of my life, I offer you my dreams,
light in the darkness where I hide from view,
light in my faith, my hope, my joy and love,
light in my life and all my life in you.
© Colin Ferguson
A Kintsugi Faith 